Saturday, September 27, 2008

Wash Out This Tired Notion That The Best is Yet to Come

I guess it really is the end of summer. There were so many things I wanted to do this summer but never got the chance... I wanted to go to the beach with friends not clients, I wanted to go camping, I wanted to drink on some of Toronto's many fantastic patios, I wanted to go read outside in the park, I wanted to get a tan... Instead I spent it either at my school placement's camp, in class, at my parents' house, or driving in between. So much for a fantastic Toronto summer. I guess you can never really predict when you will be needed, and family and school have to come first. Next summer, though, next summer will be my first summer with a real grown-up job. That means money and days off, and meeting friends on patios after work for drinks. At least, in my fantasy job where I get paid highly and benefits for working normal hours, it will. Who am I kidding, I'm going to be a Child and Youth Worker... we don't exactly make the big bucks, work normal hours, or get any appreciation really.
It's been a weird Saturday. It feels like the first real day of fall. I woke up and it was gray and drizzly, and I think it's only gotten gray-er and drizzly-er as the day has gone by. One of those days where the thought of going outside is practically inconceivable, and the idea of snuggling in bed all day seems like a much better plan. I've had so much energy today, but there's little of my to-do list that I actually feel like accomplishing. So, it's resulted in me puttering around the house, not accomplishing much of anything and feeling incredibly restless. Waiting around to hear from friends to call with plans, watching things happen in the alleyway outside of my window, trying to do school work, re-wrote my to-do lists. There's nothing on tv, nothing I feel like reading, nothing really I feel like doing.
Days like this scare me a little. Days where I spend the entire day doing absolutely nothing. We're only given a certain number of days in our lives... how many have I wasted doing nothing? Wasted, that's really what I've done. Other people with days more numbered than mine could have used this day that I've wasted, and probably but it to much better use. But then again, we never know how many days we have... what if mine are almost up? What if I only have a few days left and I'm wasting the ones I have doing nothing? What if my days are almost gone and I've accomplished so little in my life? That scares me. I know I'm meant to do and experience so much more than I have. But that doesn't mean that I'll get to do and experience everything I'm meant to if I don't get a move on. I mean, I want to experience as much as I possibly can while I'm here, and I don't know how long I'm going to be here for... so I should probably stop spending my days holed up in my apartment doing nothing... right?

-The Inspiration-
Pig - Dave Matthews Band
Isn't it strange

How we move our lives for another day
Like skipping a beat
What if a great wave should
wash us all away
Just thinking out loud
Don't mean to dwell on this dying thing
But looking at blood
It's alive right now
Deep and sweet within
Pouring through our veins
Intoxicate moving wine to tears
Drinking it deep
Then an evening spent dancing
It's you and me
This love will open our world
From the dark side we can see a glow of something bright
There's much more than we see here
Don't burn the day away

Is this not enough
This blessed sip of life
Is it not enough
Staring down at the ground
Oh then complain and pray
more from above
Greedy little pig
Stop just watch your world trickle away
Oh it's your problem now
It'll all be dead and gone in
a few short years
Just love will open our eyes
Just love will put the hope in our minds
Much more than we could ever know
Don't burn the day away

Come sister
my brother
Shake up your bones shake up your feet
I'm saying open up
And let the rain come pouring in
Wash out this tired notion
That the best is yet to come
But while you're dancing on the ground
Don't think of when you're gone
Love! love!? what more is there?
We need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head
Dry your eyes
Let the love in there
There are bad times
But that's ok
Just look for love in it
Don't burn the day away

Look
Here are we
On this starry night staring into space
And I must say
I feel as small as dust
Lying down here
What point could there be troubling
Head down wondering what will
become of me
Why concern we cannot see
But no reason to abandon it
Time is short but that's all right
Maybe I'll go in the middle of the night
Take your hands from your eyes, my love
Everything must end some time
Don't burn the day away

Come sister
My brother
Shake up your bones shake up your feet
I'm saying open up
And let the rain come flooding in
Wash out this tired notion
That the best is yet to come
But while you're dancing on the ground
Don't think of when you're gone
Love! love!? what more is there?
We need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head
Dry your eyes
Let the love in there
There are bad times
But that's ok
Just look for love in it

1 comment:

LENORENEVERMORE said...

ahhh...I can relate indeed.
So many things I want to do but,
I can be the biggest procrastinator...hee* You know how things can happen "accidently"...well I've learned to do them on "purpose"...
& rid my enemy, that procrastinator... Anyhow, I'm sure you'll feel much better soon...& enjoy each blessings...yay!

blessings to you dear...