Courage

Well, tomorrow is the big day. Mom and Dad have already left for London, they'll be staying in a hotel there for the night because they have to be at University Hospital for either 5 or 6am. Mom's surgery starts at 8am, and it'll probably take about 5 hours. Gross.
I am home for the week, as in my parents home, not my Toronto apartment. A week of skipping school and placement so that I can stay here with my little sister (so she doesn't have to go stay at the grandparents' house) and driving back and forth to London to visit Mom and let Dad have a rest maybe.
It's apparently a pretty intense surgery. Not looking forward to this. First of all, I have always very strongly disliked hospitals. They make me nervous... I only have bad hospital memories. They smell bad and are full of sick people. And they're so sterilized. Ugh. I get anxious just thinking about going. Secondly, the thought of seeing my Mom post-op is not something I like. She won't be awake, she'll be pale and sickly looking, and she'll be hooked up to machines. Usually I do my very best to avoid going to visit family and friends in the hospital, it makes me unnecessarily nervous, so I make up an excuse and don't go. I don't have that option this time. I need to be responsible and helpful and most of all strong. My family needs that from me.

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the knowledge that something is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon