Monday, November 24, 2008

This May Verge on Ranting...

You know it must be Monday morning when you wake up and have to clean up cat puke from the kitchen floor. Poor guy. Apparently his attempts to destroy the mini Christmas tree I brought back from home with me had him all worked up.
Anyhow, my weekend of relaxing at my parents' house is over and I am back in the big city ready to take on the last 3 weeks of school. I'm trying not to think about all of the things I have to do, so instead I'll share a story from my weekend.
Yesterday, my family went to church to see my sister be part of the service. Mom has only been to church a few times since this whole cancer business began. It's not the religious aspect that has made her stop going, I think, but more the social aspect. I made sure to stick near her yesterday, to be support and a body guard if necessary. They mean well, all of her church friends and acquaintances, but they make it really really hard. One after another they come up to say hi, saying the exact same lines - "it's good to see you" "how are you feeling?" "you're looking well" "how are you doing?" "we've been thinking about you" "you've been in our prayers" - all accompanied by a sympathetic look and a hug or awkward back rub/pat. Mom gave them all back the same well rehearsed lines - "it's good to be seen" "I'm feeling well, it's one of my good weeks" "I'm doing alright" "well, thank you" - what else can she say? They mean well. Trying to give her support and love in the only way they can. But that's really not what she needs... we're trying to make things as normal as possible to get past this, so she doesn't really need a constant barrage of sympathetic looking people who are all "cancer, cancer, cancer" without ever actually saying that dirty word. We know you know she has cancer, it's nice that you want to be supportive, but let's move on please, we don't need to make Mom cry at church. But that's people, right? That's what people do. They mean well, and they're just doing the best they can.

1 comment:

Jay said...

It should be something that will only die down if she attends regularly, know what I mean? If her appearances are few and far between, people will react. If they see her more frequently it should become less and less an issue that's on the surface. Normalcy comes from routine, right?

Hope y'all stay strong.