Wordpress

Hey y'all,
Just another reminder that I've moved over to Wordpress.
SO, if this site is still in your Reader or links, switch it to the other one please!
My new location is http://ewalker9.wordpress.com. Hope to see you over there!

Time for a Move

Okay, guys, I think I'm going to do it. I'm going to move to Wordpress.
I'll miss having fun themes, but the comments system seems better and I like having integrated stats and the option of pages.
This is a big deal for me, I've been with Blogger for years, so bear with me while I figure out how to use Wordpress fully, and send me some love at my new location.
So head on over to http://ewalker9.wordpress.com and update your links and readers please!!

Star Trek FTW!

Apparently it's cool to be a Trekkie, for, like, the first time ever.
I have a confession.
As a kid, my best friend loved Star Trek - meaning I had to love it too. Then, as I got older, my parents got into it. When I say "got into it", I mean we watched it every single night during supper for years. I have seen almost every episode of Star Trek Voyager, and a good deal of The Next Generation.
So, even though I'm not a bona-fide Trekkie, I still know a great deal more about the franchise than the average person.
That being said, my little sister is even more of a Trekkie than I ever will be... for a while she even walked around with The Next Generation buttons on her purse. True story. So, with me being home, on Monday, my littlest sister and I had a date to go see Star Trek.


I was excited to go see it. I'd heard really good things about it, and I know J.J. Abrams is pretty amazing. Also, I have a giant crush on Zachary Quinto, partially from Heroes, but mostly due to the fact that he is completely adorable in every single interview I have seen him in.


Um, spoiler alert: it was awesome!

Seriously, go see this right away. If you grew up with Star Trek, go see it. If you've never watched an episode of any Star Treks before this, go see it. If you need to wear your Klingon costume, go see it.
Was there a downside? No, I don't think there was.
The actors were amazing, the special effects were also amazing.
Not to mention how freaking cute Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto are. They should be reason alone to go see it.
Can I go see it again now, please?

I Forgot to Savour It...

Lately, I've been a little bit, uh, obsessed, with Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse novels. You know, the ones that HBO's TrueBlood are based on? They follow Sookie, a mind-reading waitress in rural Louisianna as she navigates the newly revealed supernatural world - vampires, weres, witches and fairies - oh my! If you've been following along, you'll remember when I first discovered the tv series and spent a whole day watching the entire first season, when I bought and read the first book in the series, when the books completely took over my life, when I considered threatening postal employees because the latest realease had not arrived yet, and finally, when it arrived and I was so excited I took pictures with it.

I had big plans to take it slowly and savour this one, because as far as I know, Ms. Harris has not announced when the next one is coming. I even waited and didn't start reading on Friday night when I got the book, knowing it would go too fast.

Well I started on Saturday morning and finished on Sunday night. "Dead and Gone" went fast.


I don't want to spoil too much for anyone who hasn't read it. (By the way, if you're reading something else, you're wasting your time - start reading this series ASAP!) Let's just say I was pleased. No big departure from the previous books, this series certainly has an established style that it sticks to - but I am a fan of that style. In order not to ruin it, my review is like this:

ERIC!!! (ack! swoon! whaa?) Woah - Arlene! Bill!?!! Holycrapfairiesarecreepy!

Those of you who've read it (*ahem* EP *ahem*), thoughts?
Those of you who have told me you have the first book in the series but have not read it (*cough* Olga *cough*), get on it - you've got a lot of catching up to do!
Those of you who for some bizarre reason have not thought to pick up a copy of these books - seriously, get your butt to the book store or library! They're entertaining and light while being thrilling and sexy. And at least for me, they're consuming, they take over my life, I get emotionally involved, I have a GIANT literary crush on a certain former Viking.

Happy Mother's Day

Here's Mommy and Me...
Now:


And then:




Happy Mother's Day to my strong and beautiful mother, who has shown me by example how to overcome life's challenges with grace and good humour.

I'll Be MIA for a Few Days...

It arrived today!! Dead and Gone by Charlaine Harris! Look how excited I am! I need to remember to savour it, though, as I don't know when the next is coming. But I'm going home on Sunday, so I'll get to spend next week reading it on the porch - we'd better have good weather!

Seriously, guys, are you reading this series yet?

I'm (Impatiently) Waiting!

Okay, seriously, Chapters, I pre-ordered the new Charlaine Harris book Dead and Gone, a month ago. It came out on Tuesday. Where is my book?? I could have gone to the store and purchased it multiple times by now! The website finally says it has shipped in full, so maybe this is Canada Post's fault. I've gone downstairs in my pjs every day since Tuesday to check the mail, and I've got nothing. It's Thursday, but if I don't get it tomorrow, so that I have it for the weekend, somebody will be in trouble. Listen, guys, just give me my Sookie Stackhouse book and no one gets hurt.

Maybe Next Time...

Well, I didn't get either of the full-time positions. They hired a guy who used to work full-time there before he went to school (not a big surprise, males are like gold in my field), and, in a surprise move, they hired a fairly new girl for the other position.
The guy I understand. But the new girl?? She's still learning the job, meanwhile, there were several of us who already know the job who also applied. I mean, I trained for free as a student from September until December, and I've been working there since January - I think I am more qualified for the position than someone who only started a few months ago.
But, as per usual, they told me to keep applying and something will come. They told me that I am well liked by all of the supervisors and management and that there are always new spots opening. Some of the other full-time staff were surprised that I didn't get it, one was even right pissed off, which feels good, I mean, if the full-time staff think I should be full-time, it's a good sign right?
But this was my second time applying for full time. I know one of the staff had to apply for it 4 times before she got it. How long do I keep doing this before I give up and apply to other jobs? I really like my workplace. I really like my clients (some more than others, obviously). I really like the work that we do there. I really really like my co-workers. I don't really want to work somewhere else. But eventually I have to get serious, right? Sooner or later I am going to need to grow up and get a full-time job, right?
For now, though, I think I'll wait it out. I should at least get a second job, but I don't really want to. I mean, I'm young, fresh out of school - if I can't slack off now, when can I?

I've Been Etsy Shopping...

Sunshine - tie head band/head wrap from joyfulstar - for me.

Pretty hair pins, vintage blue from your wishcake - also, for moi.


A custom-made sign for Mom (a Mother's Day present) that will look sort of like this, only one line and saying: THE FARM Est. 2008 - my parents can post it at their property.
From Distressed DeSigns.

I'm so excited for them all to arrive!! In the meantime, go check out those shops!

Guaranteed Income

Right now, I only work per diem work, meaning it's like relief shifts. I still get quite a few shifts, almost full time hours, but that's not always guaranteed. I am just waiting around for full time at this point. It will come, I just need to be patient.
Once I get full time, I will have a salary, which will be exactly what I need to finally get my finances in order and develop a real budget. And, of course, with said guaranteed monies, I have some plans.

When I get a real person (full time) job, I want to get:
1. An iPhone (But my current phone, a Motorola Krzr is less than a year old... so I can't justify it yet.)
2. A real couch (Can I do this and keep my loveseat? It's a pretty small apartment, but the loveseat is kind of sentimental.)
3. A big girl bed (I currently have a twin, I want at least a double. And a pretty new bedspread.)

It's all about becoming a grown up really. I have an interview tomorrow for full time. I think there might be a few people ahead of me to get the spot, so I may not get it this time... but it's worth a shot! Wish me luck.

Shop Local

I found this over at The Transformation of Kern, and although it's an American thing, it completely applies everywhere.

Go here to find out more about it.
My parents own a small business, so I know how super important it is to support small businesses. Sure, I can be caught time to time going to those big box stores, after all, I'm only human, BUT, the more you shop at small businesses, the more products those small businesses can offer you and the more small businesses your town can support. When you shop at local small businesses, that money stays in your community instead of going to a large corporation. Not to mention, the quality of service you get from small businesses is about 1000% better than at those big box stores (you know, when you have to hunt someone down to help you find something who then makes you feel bad for wanting them to go out of their way to find the product you want to purchase?). So shop small and shop local, guys. Everyone benefits!

My Top 10 Pre-Teen / Early Teenage Books

A while back I read a post over at the Society of List Addicts about Favourite Books from my Childhood, and that inspired me to create my own. I read a lot as a kid. I'm not going to include storybooks, instead I'll stick with the ones I was obsessed with in paperback form as a pre-teen / early teenager.

1) Invitation to The Game - Monica Hughes:
Honestly, I think they should make a movie of this. I read this book more times than I ever read a book in my entire life, it was just that good. I wanted to be Lisse and live in that futuristic dystopia. Now, I loved many of Monica Hughes' other books, but this one definitely takes the cake as the best. In case you haven't read it, go here to read a review.2) The Babysitter's Club - Ann M. Martin:
I read almost every book in the series, squealed with joy when the movie came out, and went to get my babysitting liscence ASAP because of this series. I imagined I was these girls. Anything that can glamourize babysitting to pre-teens is an amazing series. Here's the background info.
3) Nancy Drew - Caroline Keene:
I read a good many of this series as well. Nancy Drew is an amazing girl who, with her 2 best friends, nice car, helpful daddy, and handsome boyfriend, solved various mysteries, often including creepiness and life-risking - everything you would expect from a good mystery. Check out the background of the series.
4) Anne of Green Gables / Emily of New Moon - L.M. Montgomery
Both series (Anne and Emily) were written about East-coast Canadian children who are orphaned and grow up in adopted families (Anne) or with relatives (Emily). Both are daydreamers and have a small group of close friends that they win over, and the series' follow each of them transform into successful young women. Here's info about Anne and Emily.
5) My Teacher is an Alien - Bruce Colville (and pretty much all of his other works):
I was obsessed with Bruce Colville. My friend and I even wrote him fan mail (although I don't remember if we ever sent them). It went along nicely with my obsession with all things space-related. Three school-aged kids who find out that their teacher is, in fact, from outer space. I wanted to be Susan and had a total crush on Peter, and wished pretty much daily that I would be taken into space. Here's more info.

6) Tomorrow When The War Began - John Marsden:
This was a series about a group of teenage friends who were camping in the woods for the weekend when their country (Australia) is invaded by another country. These teens are some of the few people who remain free after the invasion and they help to lead attacks against the invaders, all while experiencing their own coming of age. I read this during a time when I was obsessed with all things war-related - between this, and WWII novels, I wonder if my parents were ever worried about that obsession. Here's more about the series.
7) The Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis:
I don't even need to explain this, do I? I think Mom read all of them outloud to us growing up, every night before bed. When I got a bit older, I read them all myself. There is possibly nothing better as a child than to be read to about talking animals, fairies, nymphs, fawns, and royalty as you're drifting off to sleep, and then, when you're old enough to read it yourself, re-reading the series and being captured by the magic all over again, remembering it just as you heard it as a child. Here's more about the series.
8) Madeline L'Engle - anything by her - especially A Ring of Endless Light and A Wrinkle in Time:
Youth protagonists coming of age while the storylines cover modern science and fantasy events with a religious tinge - they were just perfect for what I was interested in growing up. The religious aspects reminded me of the stories I grew up hearing at church, and made them "cool" again by adding in science and fantasy. Here's more about Madeline.

9) Little House on the Prairie - Laura Ingalls Wilder:
Another series that Mom read to us growing up (I think Mom's reading to us had a lot to do with how much my sister and I read later in life). This one based on the real life stories of the Ingalls family settling on the prairie. My sister and I used to pretend we were the girls in the story, we'd go outside and play Little House. It also inspired a lifelong fear of panthers. Here's more about the series.
10) His Dark Materials Trilogy - Phillip Pullman:
I recently re-read these books again, and they are just SO good. Don't let the recently made movie be any base on which to judge the series. Lyra and Will are from different versions of Earth, and they battle together for the forces of good while coming of age. Also combining religion and fantasy, it's not surprising that I was drawn to it. Although, I read it much later than most kids, because I picked it up when I was too young, got confused, and didn't pick it up again for much too long. All the same, incredible series. Go find out more.

So there you go. The pre-teen / early teenage books that I obsessed over, and that honestly helped shape who I am today.
What were your favourite books / series as a pre-teen and early teenager?

Should Have Known Better

By 23, there are things I should know better, especially when it comes to my body. I should know how it works and how it reacts to certain things, I shouldn't end up spending the night in the hospital because of something I should know better.
Here's how it went down.
Friday morning, I get a text from one of my BFFs, asking if I wanted to go for drinks. She's had a tough week, and she also wanted to check in with me, because last weekend I found out that one of my clients passed away. So out we went, it was a beautiful Friday night and we found a pub on Bloor St. where the front windows opened garage-door style. We got a table right near the street, so we drank and ate and talked and people-watched for hours until the guy she is seeing showed up. At that point, I was already tipsy. I don't drink too much and I am on medication that lowers my alcohol tolerance, so I have a really low tolerance. So, when the boy showed up, I was already tipsy, and he then proceeded to order us drinks and shots. We made friends with the couple at the table next to us, and generally had a really good time. I usually keep myself sober enough to take transit home, because I live an hour's ride by transit away from downtown. That night, I knew that taking transit by myself would be a bad idea. I have never been that drunk before in my life. I texted friends on the way home to keep myself from passing out. I finally made it home, puked a few times, took a gravol and stumbled into my bed.
Now, I should explain why this is an extra bad idea for me. We believe that I have what's called Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. I've had this since I was a young teen, the first time I remember it happening was in grade 10. Often it comes when I am nervous or stressed out, it has happened before when I've eaten foods that disagree with me as well. It's never happened before because of drinking, mostly because I usually keep myself in check. Basically, what happens is that I start throwing up, usually early morning, and I keep throwing up, for hours and hours, even when there isn't anything left in my stomach to throw up. It turns into dry heaving and I heave and heave for hours upon hours. Once before, I had to go to the hospital, but usually my Grandpa (a doctor) orders me a perscription of injectable gravol that Mom (a former nurse) gives to me. After an injection or two of gravol, I usually calm down and am able to stop puking, but it can take me days to really recover, because it wears me out. It hasn't happened now for almost 2 years, and it has never happened when I am so far away from home.
I woke up at 8:00 on Saturday morning and the vomiting started. Luckily, I have a cousin who lives in the same city and has helped me deal with the vomiting before, and she was able to come over and help nurse me. I don't think I could have made it through this on my own. By 6 at night, I was still vomiting and not able to keep anything inside of me, so we decided I had to go to the hospital. After what seemed like forever, I was admitted and given fluids and 3 bags of anti-nauseants before I settled down. By 5am, I was feeling better and able to keep fluids down, so my cousin took me home.
We slept all day today, with me waking up to call in to work and every once in a while drink some ginger ale and eat some crackers. My cousin went home late afternoon, and since then I've been home alone, nursing fluids and trying to make myself eat regularly.
Usually I love living by myself, but when I get sick, I hate it. I get so terribly home sick. I hate having to bother friends to come over to help me, but at the same time, I can hardly take care of myself.
But, I should have known better. I need to remember that I am not invincible and that I cannot possibly drink that much, especially when I live by myself and have no one to take care of me.
I am feeling better now, but I not only missed an incredibly beautiful weekend, I missed 2 days of work so far, and I had to cancel my interview for full-time at the shelter. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Music Swap

Lily just posted about her newest awesome idea:

The Ultimate Music Swap

The idea is basic - leave a comment letting me know you want to play and then next week, I’ll randomly* match everyone up with another blogger. Your task is to create a mix tape (or CD, or playlist on a jump drive…) to send to each other. Pick new favorites, old favorites, up-and-coming local bands, artists you can’t live with out and anything you think needs to be shared with the world. When you get your mixtape/CD/playlist from your new friend, let us know what music you discovered and what your favorites are!

*The exception to this “randomness” is that I will not match up bloggers in the same city so that I don’t end up sending someone in Minneapolis my favorite Atmosphere song, etc.

This will be an AWESOME way to expand your music collection and share a little bit of yours.

Isn't that cool?? So go to Lily's site to tell her you're in! I'm doing it so you should too!

Another Blast From the Past

After the Fern Gully blast from the past earlier today, I got thinking about the other environmentally themed shows I used to watch as a child. A friend reminded me of The Smoggies, and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon reminded me of Captain Planet. Remember these?





Did I forget any? I feel like we had a large amount of enviro-friendly shows, do kids these day have shows along these lines?

Happy Earth Day!

In honour of Earth Day, I thought I'd share with you a blast from the past. Remember Fern Gully? The early '90s movie starring fairies, a crazy bat, a hunky logger shrunk down to fairy-size, and a creepy pollution-fueled villain? Yeah, you remember it. It was one of my favourite movies as a child, I watched it over and over again, knew most of the lyrics, wanted to be a fairy who lives in the forest, and thought Zak was a dream boat. Here's my favourite scene from the movie:



Happy Earth Day, everyone!

Just Checking...

Are you following my Twitter? It's @ewalker9.
What about my Tumblr? I'm pretty darn proud of it. It's the place where I post pretty things. It's Tumbling Down the Rabbit Hole.
And are we friends on 20 Something Bloggers? Here's my profile. Are you a 20 something blogger in Toronto? Join my 20SB Group - Toronto 20 Somethings.
Finally, if you're on Facebook, follow my blog on Networked Blogs. It makes me happy to see people are following me, AND you can add me as a Facebook friend!
Let's be hooked up on every social media platform!

Me, Right Now

I was tagged by Ria to take a picture of me right now and post it. I cheated and did not do it right away when I found out I was tagged... BUT, this is me right now, at almost 4pm... still in bed.


I am gunna tag a crapload of people (go check out their blogs, too): Jay, Jessica, Larissa, Olga, Whattakes, Shan, Carmen, Courtney, Alanna, Shannon, Laura, Karen, and Ashley. Phew!! Let's see how many of you do it!

Easter Weekend Update... A Week Later

Hey, remember how last weekend was Easter weekend? Yeah, I had a fantastic weekend at home with the family. I had planned on sharing pictures with y'all, and even started uploading them last week... but then I fell asleep.

So, here they are, a sampling of my Easter weekend:

Here's Mom and Dad at Easter dinner. Doesn't Mommy look amazing!? Take THAT cancer!

The next day, we went to the Farm (remember? the "farm"?). It was the first time I'd actually been to it other than just viewing it from the road at Christmastime. We got to hike around and I got to play in the creeks/ponds - which I reveled in, of course, being approximately 5 years old on the inside.

This is me being a swamp creature!

This old tubing is left over from a maple sugar operation that was on the property a while back. The tubing was stuck under a bunch of mud in the creek, and Dad had just finished talking about how he tried and tried to get it out of the ground and couldn't. I walked into the creek and pulled it and got it right out... and then proceeded to heckle Dad about getting old. What an awesome daughter I am!

This is me and my littlest sis. Notice my classy classy outfit!

And here I am looking like a model in front of our biggest tree, appraising it for tree-house worthiness.

Overall, Easter weekend was one big awesome WIN, and the "farm" gets my seal of approval!

All These Things That I've Done

I've now seen this on fab obsessed and apartment #412, etc and decided to do it myself. I made all of the things I've done on the list purple. And all the things I want to do are blue.
Enjoy!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyworld/Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you were not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been laid off from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

One More Award!

Courtney at Once Upon a Bookshelf gave me this here award a while back. The rules are to list 7 things I love and then to tag 7 people who will play along.

Things I Love:
1. My crazy but endearing cat. He's the main man in my life and I don't know what I'd do without him.
2. My Teddy Bear. His name is Teddy. Yes, I am in my 20s and still have a Teddy Bear... I got him when I had my surgery at 3 years old and he has been everywhere with me ever since.
3. Getting mail. No, not the electronic kind, but real old-fashioned snail mail.
4. This place.
5. My family. I appreciate them more and more every day that I work in the youth shelter. I never knew before how lucky I was.
6. Being from a small town. I used to hate it, but now that I really live in the city, I am glad of where I came from. I am pretty good at acting like a city person (for example, when I ride the subway and don't want people to bother me), but I don't think I'll ever truly be a city girl. I feel most at home surrounded by farmers fields and dirt roads, not by concrete sidewalks and subways.
7. Diet Pepsi. Up until recently, I was a Diet Coke girl, but I've been won over to the dark side and fallen in love with Diet Pepsi. I love the taste, and since I don't drink coffee, I need the stuff to get through my day.


And the award goes to...
1. Karen at The Transformation of Kern
2. Erin at The State That I Am In
3. Ria at & That's The Way Life Goes
4. Jess at Classy in Philadelphia
5. Lily at Lily Speak
6. Ashley at Writing to Reach You
7. Alyssa at How Lucky We Are

From Darkness to Light

First Dawn by traqair57

It's Easter weekend. I made sure to book it off work, and today I made the 4 hour drive home to my parents' house. This is what I've done every year since I moved out, and this is what I will continue to do, like until my life changes in some major way. Every Easter weekend, our whole family gets together (this year we will be short one, due to the sister being in Oz). My Dad's side of the family always has some sort of big dinner, this year is actually the first in my memory that we're not having it at our house - we're going to our aunt and uncle's house because Mom is still recovering from her surgery and seeing as she is going to have a complete recovery from cancer we're encouraging her to milk it while she can. Holiday weekends (Thanksgiving and Easter) are usually pretty stressful in my family, because Mom becomes a giant stress-ball trying to make sure everything is perfect before the family comes over, so this year of cancer treatments has provided a nice break from the stresses of family entertaining at least.
On Easter weekend, we also always have an Easter egg hunt (although Mom stopped this tradition last year, stating that we were too old, and just gave us chocolates in our baskets instead). It's going to be weird celebrating Easter without the middle sister... she was the one who always divided up the Easter eggs to make sure that everyone got an equal amount of foil-wrapped chocolates. But, I suppose, the traditions have to change at some point, and not everyone's going to be able to come to every holiday always.
After the egg hunt, we go to church for an Easter Sunday service that always manages to make me teary. It starts with the entire sanctuary in darkness, all of the normal things like banners, candelabras and floral arrangements are covered in black cloths, and at the front of the church is the large wooden cross we use to light candles on for lent, all of the candles are extinguished, and the cross has black cloths on it as well. Then, someone comes in and lights the Christ candle and others come in and take away the black cloths, still others light the rest of the candles in the sanctuary, and kids from the Sunday School come in with pots and pots of spring flowers to place around the foot of the cross. For us, this symbolizes the darkness that came when Jesus was crucified and the light that followed when He was found risen. Theology aside, I think it's a really nice sentiment. Spring is a time of light after the darkness of winter, so it is a time to start new, to turn mourning into dancing, so to speak.
After a year of dealing with Mom's cancer, I am ready to put it behind me, to move from darkness to light, from mourning to dancing. I am ready to start fresh and focus on me for a bit.
What do y'all do for Easter? Do you celebrate it even? Maybe Passover? What traditions do you have? What ideas do you place behind it? What does that mean for you, and for your family?

Same as it Ever Was

Do you ever stop where you are and wonder how the heck you ended up there?
As in, if somebody had told you a few years back that you would be in that scenario, you would have laughed at them?
I felt like that a lot during Mom's fight with cancer. Sitting in the hospital waiting room during surgery, driving Mom to chemo, dealing with Mom's tubes and wires in her hospital room... I looked at my surroundings and was overwhelmed by the fact that I never expected that I would be there in that situation, and I never expected I would be able to deal with it as well as I did.
I guess you don't know what you can handle until you're in that situation.
I find that a lot at work. When I was visiting Mom in the hospital, I was telling the nurse about my job, and Mom said that if you had told her two years ago I would be living in Toronto working with street youth, she never would have believed it. You know... if you had told me two years ago that this is what I'd be doing, I would have laughed in your face.
It happens a lot at work, especially when I am dealing with the mental health and the crises that develop... when a kid got stabbed, when fights break out, when a girl comes in completely naked and I have to spend at least 10 minutes talking her into getting re-dressed, when I have to deal with bed bugs, and disgusting rooms and various bodily fluids, when I get sworn at, and yelled at, when I get told too much information about their sex lives... I find myself pausing and thinking "how did I get here?" At first, it was unnerving, being somewhere so out of my element, now I just laugh it off.
I'm a sheltered girl from a small town. J-walking scares me... I grew up on a gravel road. Whenever we would go to Toronto on family trips, Dad would lock the car doors before we got into city limits, likely afraid that a man with a squeegee would jump inside and mug as at gunpoint or we'd get shot up in the middle of a gang war. That's what happens in big cities, right? I was discussing how I grew up with one of my co-workers after work the other day, and she turned to look at me, and asked "Erin, how did you end up here?" Now, she knows the story of how I ended up here, my botched plans for teacher's college after university, and we went to our Child and Youth Work program together, so she knows about all of that... That's not what she meant. I told her truthfully that some days I don't even know.
Luck? Chance? Divine intervention? I don't know. Was it meant to be, or did I just luck out by ending up somewhere I like? Maybe it was completely random. If one little factor of my life had gone a different way, I could be living somewhere completely different, doing something completely different.
That scares me a little. I don't like the idea that my life is arbitrarily decided by chance... I'd much rather think that I am here because it's where I'm supposed to be. I like the idea that I've been brought somewhere that frequently forces me to deal with difficult situations, but I wouldn't be there if I couldn't handle it.
What about you? Do you ever stop and wonder how you ended up where you are? Has your life taken a clear path to where you are today, or has it been a journey of twists and turns? Is it chance and luck, or is there some sort of plan behind the path your life takes?

My Beef with the Interwebz

I love the interwebz, you know I do.
But sometimes, internet, you give me way too much information.
I'm looking at you, Facebook.
Let's think about this: if it is listed that you dated a person in the "How do you know each other" section, it's not a nice thing to broadcast it on the front page for days when that person gets engaged.
Although it was nice to hear that he has found a nice girl to marry, I don't need it rubbed in my face for days, Facebook.
Actually, that's a lie. I don't want to hear that he is engaged at all.
Part of me wants to go through my Facebook and severely edit the people I am "friends" with. The other part of me knows that I have certain people on there because I am curious to see what they are up to without having to go to the trouble of pursuing a real-life relationship.
But there are some things I don't want to know about.
I can't help but wonder where the line is. When does the internet or social media go from helpful to harmful? How much internet/social media is too much? When do you get overexposed?

Puny Express

The totally untrue story of Puny Express was started by Shannon and continued by Courtney, so now it's my turn.

Shan explored the band's origins, with our album "Leave My Soul Alone", and Courtney discussed our rise to fame with the album "Freedom Is Just Chaos With Better Lightning". I am here to tell you about the height of our fame: the album 955. Our humble beginnings of church retreat meet ups were long past as our skyrocket to fame landed us in a new world of sex, drugs and rock n' roll.
955 included the tracks:
1. Jim Rogers - a tribute to Puny Express' financial advisor
2. Ulysses - later re-made by Franz Ferdinand
3. June 30 - a rock ballad with video starring Erin and Johnny Depp
4. Lord Byron - written and composed by Courtney and her love of literature
5. Meet Joe Black - written by Shan after her lusty affair with Brad Pitt

It took mere days for 955 to go platinum, and tickets for the corresponding tour sold out in seconds. The band toured for 8 months straight, travelling across North America in a convoy of expensive tour buses surrounded by groupies. After show parties lasted until the wee hours of the morning, and at said parties anything could happen and everything did.

We had the time of our lives, but nothing lasts forever, and it wasn't long before the sex, drugs and rock n' roll got old, the groupies got between us, and 8 long months on the road took its toll. We got cocky with our success, and started fighting amongst ourselves. Egos were clashing and fans began to take notice - the music suffered the most. I will leave it here, in hopes that another member of the band will finish the story.

My Latest Obsession

I've been a bad blogger. I know. I'm sorry.
And I'll likely continue to be a bad blogger for a little while longer.
Would you like to know why?
I have a new obsession.
The Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris... You know, the books that True Blood was based on?
Let me tell you, the books are even better than the series. Oh. My. Goodness.
I have lost sleep over this series, I've stayed up to the wee hours of the morning reading, and still not been able to sleep afterward because I've continued to think about them.
They are just that good.
Right now, I'm reading Definitely Dead, the 6th book. I have one more to read, until the next one comes out in paperback at the end of the month, and then another one comes out in May... the author says she's not done yet, which makes me terribly happy.
I am no good at book reviewing. I doubt I ever will be any good at it. All I can tell you is that these books are incredible and if you haven't read them yet, do so immediately.
And with that, I will likely be MIA for a little longer while I spend all of my free time reading these books. I'll still be Tumbling and Twittering, so if you're missing me, come see me there!

Recap

So life has been busy lately, thus I've been MIA from the blogging world. Here's what's new with me:

• Mom's surgery went really well. She had it on Monday and was okay to go home on Thursday! Her nurses were fantastic and everything went really smoothly. I am unbelievably relieved that this is finally over.
• I've been working overnights. I expect it will be a while before I have a normal sleep schedule again. We have been short staffed the past 2 nights, so I have been stationed by myself at the main desk of the shelter, which I love. When there are no new intakes and all of my work is done, I get to chill with a snack, listen to some Dave Matthews, and read or play around on the internet while everyone else sleeps.
  
• I bought the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris, it's the book that True Blood is based on. I am almost through it already and I loved it! I went to Chapters tonight and bought the next 3 in the series.
• Maurice the turtle is living at my apartment now! The cat hasn't tried to kill him yet, so all is well! He likes staring at me while I do stuff around the apartment, he's funny! I will introduce you properly soon.
  
• My littlest sister is on a March Break school trip to Spain and Italy right now. The middle sister is still in Australia. I am stuck in Toronto... and slowly going stir crazy.
• BUT, I got a ticket to see the Dave Matthews Band in June! I'm crazy excited, especially because their new CD comes out only days before. However, the crappy part is that I'm going with 2 other friends, and Ticketmaster wouldn't allow us to puchase more than 2 tickets together for inside the pavilion, so I am sitting one section over from my two friends... here's hoping we can sweet talk the people around us to let us all sit together...
  
• I started a Tumblr, because I clearly need to spend more time on the internet. It's Tumbling Down the Rabbit Hole, go follow me!
• Oh! How Lovely! Shops is giving away a set of bodhicitta Recycled Glasses, very cool! Go enter!
  

Pretty Please?

Please please please will somebody buy me this Threadless shirt!?! It is called Mister Mittens Big Adventure. In return you will receive my undying love and devotion.
(Ladies 2X fits perfectly, just in case you were curious...)

ANOTHER Award?!

I am super excited that I won another bloggy award! These things make me all warm and fuzzy inside in ways that I'm sure isn't normal.


Lindsay at Adventures of a Book Thief gave me this Love Ya award. Go check her blog out, y'all! She also was the one who gave me that yummy Bloggy Valentine's Day present. Here's what it says:

“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award!”

And now for my nominees:
1) Lily at Lily Speak
2) Ria at & that's the way life goes
3) Jess at Classy in Philadelphia
4) Ashley at Writing to Reach You
5) EP at Stylish Handwriting
6) Lucklys at How Lucky We Are
7) Carmen at My Life in a Nutshell
8) Kern at The Transformation of Kern

All of these ladies have fantastic blogs which I highly recommend you go check out immediately, and they're all wonderful people who I am lucky to know. Go read their stuff and get to know them right away if you don't already know them!

Go Enter This Giveaway!

Over at Allie's Answers you can enter a giveaway for a Gaiam rug. They're made from recycled materials and fair trade. SO cool.

I Don't Know

Lisa Hannigan was on the Colbert Report last night. I am in love with this song:

Kickaroo!

Today, I went to the pet store, and on a whim I bought a Kong Kickaroo for Thunder Kitty. Ours is the cow pattern.Let me tell you, if you have a cat who likes to fight like my badass cat, this is the cat toy for you. Thunder Kitty loves it. And it is named Kickaroo. Come on! I have never blogged about a cat toy before, so this is kind of a big deal!

Update

This is Mom and me. I love this photo.

The surgery went without a hitch today, and Mom seems to be doing well. The doctor seemed very optimistic that she could be out by the weekend as long as things are moving well, he wants her up and walking around tomorrow. She was really doped up tonight, which was likely a good thing. Mom grew up with the woman who is the head of pain management for the hospital and went to nursing school with her, so she's being taken care of. I will likely be going up to visit tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday - mostly to give her and Dad a break from each other and to make sure Dad is taking care of himself.

Thanks to all of you for your support and positive thoughts and good wishes, it means so much to me!

Unpacking the Insecurities

Sometimes I think you just need to rant and get it all out, tonight is one of those nights. So here goes. Saying it's scary to have this out there is the understatement of the year...

I'm usually at least outwardly confident in regards to my relationship status. I joke with my family about my plans to be a crazy cat lady, an old maid. I groan that there may in fact be cobwebs filling up my lady parts. When someone asks, I say I just haven't met anyone I'm interested in being with, nobody I like enough to spend large amounts of time with. I shrug and mutter that I'm sure he'll show up someday.
When it's just me, though, and I get to thinking about it, the insecurities take over.
I mean, I'm 23 years old. I've only ever had one official boyfriend... and that was almost 5 years ago. 5 years. Even I know that's not normal. 5 years and not even the slightest hint of interest or action... well, other than creepers in the alley, which does not count.
Not normal at all. Those insecurities start to tug at me, what's so wrong with me that only alley creepers are interested in me? I mean, I'm not completely repulsive, I'm generally a nice person too, am I emitting some sort of "men, stay the hell away" signal?!?
I am introverted. I know that. I generally like spending time alone, so being single isn't completely terrible. I like being able to come home at night to the cat waiting for me in a quiet apartment.
Just me, and that's okay.
But it's not always okay.
I'm tired of being the odd one out. I'm tired of always being second choice. I want to be somebody's number one for once, the first one they call, the one they would rather be with. I don't think I've ever been somebody's number one.
I want a partner in crime, someone to have adventures with, someone to share my day with.
Unfortunately (or, maybe fortunately) the cat doesn't respond when I talk to him.
I wonder if part of the problem is the fear. The fear of taking a risk, of trusting someone, of new things, of new people, of communicating with someone on a real deep level, of being hurt again. I don't like uncertainties, and it takes me a long time to even build friendships with new people. I clam up. Don't tell them the stuff inside of you because they're going to judge you. I am very rarely uncensored, even around my closest friends.
And I'm picky. I've always maintained that it is a good thing to be picky. You should NOT lower your standards for anyone, I've proclaimed. But maybe my pickiness holds me back. That's what my Mom always says when I am too picky to eat foods. "Try it, you'll like it." She's been crooning that statement to me in a singsongy voice for as long as I can remember.
I am so worried about people judging me too quickly, yet I am fast to judge others.
But I suppose that pickiness has really only been applied recently to online dating. You can't be picky when there's nothing in real life to be picky about.
And so, for now, I guess I'll just pack up the insecurities, suck it up, and be happy with being second choice. He'll come along someday, right? Good thing cats have relatively long life expectancies.

Cancer-schmancer

Mom's surgery is on Monday.
This will be it. The end of the battle (hopefully).
The doctor will take away Oscar Ostomy (that's right, she named her Ostomy) and hook everything back up and once the muscles are working properly again, my mommy will be back to normal.
It's been a long year. Cancer... shit. I did not ever expect to have to deal with that. Other people got cancer, I knew that, but certainly not anyone in my family, especially my mom.
After the diagnosis, I didn't know what to do with myself... Mom is supposed to take care of ME, not the other way around.
Dad having a slight heart condition I could handle, that I was used to, that was under control. But Mom having cancer!? No way. Can't happen. Cancer is a dirty word. It's a being that comes in and destroys everything it touches and takes away the people it inhabits.
Little did I know...
We were lucky that it was caught relatively early.
We were lucky that Grandpa is a well respected doctor and has connections.
We were lucky that the chemo/radiation shrunk that tumour away to nothing.
We were lucky to have an amazing surgeon.
We were lucky to have tremendous support, from our family, from our town, from our church.
We were lucky.
Cancer isn't an all-devouring beast. It comes in many forms. For some people, cancer will take them away from their loved ones. But for others, there is hope. That is something I wish I knew at the beginning. There is hope.
And you know what? No matter what the outcome, cancer brings people together. Our family became closer than ever. People that Mom had grown apart from came out of the woodwork, bringing cards and flowers and meals and gifts, and most importantly, their presence, letting her know they cared.
As a family we cried, we laughed, we fought, we encouraged, we pitched in. Mom learned that it's okay to take a step back, to ask for help - things she would never do before. The middle sis and I became more present, in spite of not living at home, we made more of an effort to be there. For me, it taught me that if I can get through this crisis, I can get through most anything. The littlest sis, the only child living at home, grew up, a lot. She gracefully dealt with situations that I could have never dealt with at 16. She took care of the house, she accompanied on doctor's visits, she dealt with the outside world when Mom couldn't, she put her own needs aside and became a better person. Dad learned to leave work behind, that business could wait. Never, in my life growing up, had I seen Dad leave the store behind and trust others with his business. Dad also, I think, realized that life is short... not long after this ordeal, he decided to follow his dream of having his own forest and so bought the new property (his new love).
Yeah, cancer sucks ass, but I like to think that there is always a bright side to the crap that happens. Cancer may have ravaged Mom's body, but it also changed all of our lives in a positive way.

Here's the ladies of our family, only weeks before Mom was diagnosed, celebrating middle sis's birthday. From the left we have littlest sis, middle sis, Mom, and myself. If we only knew what was coming...


And here's my beautiful Mom this past Christmas. Here she has gone through a month straight of chemo and radiation, a surgery to remove the affected part of the bowel and insert an ostemy, and she was currently in the middle of 4 months of chemo (1 week a month). Just look at her! She looks incredible! She amazes me with how strong she is.

And so, on Monday, she goes in for more surgery. Minor surgery, just to hook everything back up.
It's minor, I tell myself, it's a happy surgery to fix everything back up. After this, it will be over. Right?
But I still get a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about it. Not as big as the one I got before her first surgery... but it's still there.
Maybe it's because I don't deal with hospitals well. The waiting while she's being operated on, how sterile everything is, how scary the patients look, Mom... hooked up to tubes and monitors. I'm not looking forward to going through that again. I feel like I already know my way around that hospital way too well. I'm not a person who deal with medical things well... or bodily fluids for that matter. Heck, I shy away from dealing with emotions. That feeling in the bottom of my stomach and the back of my throat is there the entire time I am, and it stays even when I go home at night. I use humour to get through it. I'm the one in the hospital room cracking jokes and goofing off. Voted most likely to get kicked out of the hospital room and be scowled at by nurses.
But, we'll get through it. And you know what, Mom's going to be fine. They'll continue to check on Mom for the next few years to make sure the cancer doesn't come back, but she responded so well to the treatment this time that I am not terribly concerned about that. Mom's a tough cookie. And no matter what, thanks to this fight with cancer, I have hope. You never know what life's going to throw at you, but even with the bad, you can find good.

The Point of the Composition

Over at Treasuing, I saw this video posted. I love it enough to post it here for you guys. Please take a few minutes to watch it, it's adorable and it has a fantastic message.

Heads Up!

Hey guys! There's a contest at Oh, Hello Friend! Get your butt over there and enter it (or don't, so I have a better chance)!

Award O'Clock!

Recently, I was lucky enough to recieve not one but two blog awards! Here we go:


I recieved the Honest Scrap Award from Rialeilani!

The Honest Scrap award comes with a caveat or 2. Firstly you have to tell your readers 10 things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly you have to tag 10 people with the award.

1) I had surgery on my kidney when I was 3 years old. I still have a giant scar across my side from it. You know that tube that goes from your kidney to your bladder? Well I had an extra one, only it didn't go to my bladder, it went nowhere. Now I have a kidney and 3/4s. The only real thing that means is that I could never donate a kidney. I used to be embarrassed to tell people why I had the surgery, because it meant that I was deformed. Now, I don't care.
2) I have a magazine buying problem. Mostly it stems from my quest to find a replacement favourite magazine post-Jane. Currently, sitting on the floor beside my bed I have: Glamour, Lou Lou, Real Simple, Nylon, and Naked Eye. Still, none of them quite live up to Jane.
3) 3 is my favourite number. Has been forever, no idea why!
4) The past few days, when I have spent a great deal of time sick in bed, Thunder Kitty has started cuddling with my legs. It makes me extremely happy.
5) I feel naked if I'm not wearing a watch. I have worn one every single day since I started being a camp counsellor in... 2002. My parents get me a new one pretty much every year for either Christmas or my birthday. That sounds fancy, but they own a jewellery store, so it's okay.
6) If you follow me on Twitter (@ewalker9), you might remember that I am adopting a turtle. His name is Maurice (named after Marice Starr), and he has been a camp pet since 2001 if I remember correctly. Every year I was senior staff at camp, I took care of him, and even when I didn't work there, I harassed the staff who did into taking proper care of him. One year, way before me, he was left there alone from August to October when someone finally found him. Now, the camp doesn't want him and the girl who was taking care of him is going to Nepal and nobody wants him. So I said that if nobody will take him, I will, because I couldn't stand to let him go homeless, I like the little guy. And so, I am adopting my third pet from camp that nobody wanted (the first being Clark the hamster, now deceased, and the second being Thunder Kitty). I thought my parents were going to kill me, instead they just rolled their eyes. I will properly introduce him when he arrives at my place.
7) I have a small collection (4) of tribal masks on my wall. I both love them and scare the crap out of me. I got my first when I worked at the campus art gallery at university. They have a high-end yard sale every year as a fund raiser, where people donate items to sell to raise money for the gallery. Somebody donated a tonne of African masks, and I loved them. I told myself that if there was still one left on the last day, I would buy it. There was, and I did. After that, I bought 3 more on various Carribbean islands that we stopped at on our 2 cruises. The Carribbean ones are much more friendly looking than the African mask. I will likely collect more on my future travels.
8) This is my least favourite time of year. Winter has long since overstayed it's welcome and excitement, spring is nowhere to be seen, most days are cold and grey, and the snow is dirty looking. I cannot wait for spring to come.
9) I used to name my houseplants. I had Ezra (because I loved the name) and Annabelle and Annabelle 2 (she was a sprout from Annabelle the first).
10) Last night, my friend and I were driving back to my apartment, and in the alley outside of it, a guy flagged us down and asked if we could help him jump his car. I did it, luckily he knew what to do because I didn't even know where the button to pop the hood was at first. We got his car started and he was good to go. I was so happy that my friend was with me though, because I grew up being taught that people in the city are scary and not to be trusted, especially when you are a female alone, so I likely would not have stopped to help or at least I would have been torn about it. It was nice to be able to help him, and cool to see what to do to jump start a car. Also, he had a really nice voice.

Tagged:
Jess at Classy in Philadelphia
Lily at Lily Speak
Carmen at My Life in a Nutshell
Cuileann at The Holly and the Ivy
Kern at The Transformation of Kern
Heather at EveryyDayy
Lucklys at How Lucky We Are
Ashley at Writing to Reach You
Ashley at Turquoise Ribbons
EP at Stylish Handwriting




I also received the Arte Y Pico Award (creative blog award) from Ashley at Writing to Reach You! And I would like to give this award to Lily at Lily Speak for having a beautiful blog and being my very first bloggy friend!

One Week

This movie looks beautiful! I want an adventure like this (minus the short life expectancy bit). It comes out Friday here, so likely I'll see it in a week or so. I expect to bawl through the entire thing. Check out the trailer:

I Wanna Do Bad Things With You

I spent my entire day today watching the entire first season of HBO's True Blood. I've already talked about how much I love vampires (I've tagged 13 blogs with "Twilight"). For years I've been reading vampire fiction and lusting over them, and Twilight completely solidified that love in the fall, so I figured I couldn't go wrong with True Blood... I mean, check out that sexy poster!

I really liked it, which I suppose one could have assumed judging by the fact that I watched 12 episodes in one day. It was like Twilight for adults - the basic girl falls for vampire, has canine-esque guy friend who is into her, vampire and guy friend have to join to protect girl... all very similar to our favourite teenage vampire saga, and a bonus of no stupid sparkles, breathy staring at each other scenes, and the girl can take care of herself. That being said, it also includes a whole lot more sex, nudity, and drugs than the sexual tension that the teen vampires tiptoed around. It is definitely an adults only vampire saga.
True Blood is set in small-town Louisiana, which I have been enamoured with for years (perhaps since seeing Skeleton Key? I'm not sure, but I've wanted to go for years because it seems like a sexy place).


Thanks to the development of Tru Blood artificial blood, vampires have been able to come out of the coffin and show themselves as a species, lobbying for the vote and equal rights. The discrimination against vampires is still strong, however, and the storyline revolves around the brutal murders of human women who are associating with vampires.


My favourite part of the storyline has to be the relationship between Sookie, a human, and Bill, a vampire (our Bella and Edward). They made me so happy like Edward and Bella did, we follow them from the time they meet through their turmoltuous relationship that is created by their differences. They have to overcome their own fears and prejudices and those of their own kind and learn to risk and trust in order for their relationship to work.

There are, of course, many other aspects of the storyline that will keep you sucked in and wanting more. Season 2 doesn't start until later this year, and I can't wait! Catch up now while you can guys!
And, if all of my sexy pictures and my semi-coherent (I'm on cold meds) descriptions didn't draw you in, watch the opening credits. They are amazingly well done and make me want to move south immediately, and they touch on all of the shows major aspects: life and death, sex and religion, the natural and the unnatural.